Time

My original plan for this blog was to post twice a week. I even had a list of subjects and some rough drafts in the pipe so I could stay on top of it. Yeah, you can see how well that has worked out.

I haven’t written anything except in my private journal for weeks. There are lots of contributing factors – laziness and insecurity top the list. But there is another, better reason: time. Specifically, time spent with family and friends.

I think my last blog post was the week before Memorial Day. Since then we spent a couple of days at the Great Wolf Lodge

drove south 6 hours to celebrate my brother-in-law’s retirement,

came home and packed to go 7 hours the other direction to spend two weeks with friends in NE Washington while my husband painted their house and cabin.

Those two weeks I was mostly without internet access, so I wasn’t even on social media much. (Which by the way was a blessing.) Instead, I hung out with my friend and enjoyed a little farm life.

We came “home” (Home is wherever we park our trailer – for now that’s in Lewis County.) to appointments and more paint jobs for David. I spent the next two weeks playing with grandkids, taking a hike, helping out at a musical theater camp and enjoying the weather. Since my last blog there have been two wedding anniversaries, one birthday and baby girl learned to crawl. 🙂

Retirement has forced me to think about time in a different way. It’s easy to lose track of even what day of the week it is. Time can just slip by while I read or watch a movie. On the other hand, I can go to lunch or dinner with a friend and not be continuously watching the clock. Time doesn’t always equal “productivity” now. Instead, time is an investment in savoring relationships, in reveling in nature, in being “in the moment.” It’s one of the things I love most about this stage of life. So, forgive me if I don’t “produce” one or two blogs a week, or a month, I’m probably out spending time on what matters most to me.

While we were on our little Eastern Washington sabbatical, we watched the 1994 movie, I.Q. starring Meg Ryan and Walter Mathau. It’s one of our favorites. There is a scene where Edward (the romantic hero in the story) meets Katharine’s (the girl he’s in love with) uncle (who happens to be Albert Einstein) and his three brilliant friends. Einstein’s friends are having this existential argument about time, so they ask Edward, “So young man, do you think time exists?” Edward proceeds to tell about a story he read in Popular Science Magazine about twin brothers. One brother traveled in a space ship into space at the speed of light. The other brother stayed on earth. The astronaut brother returns years later and is still young while his brother is now an old man. Edward asks, “Which one do you think is happier?” The scientists all agree that the young brother must be happiest. Edwards says, “No. It’s the one who stayed on earth.” He goes on to explain, “The twin who stayed has had a full life and he’s had experiences and love and pain and he has a family and friends, and the one who left – well – time has just passed.” (If you want, you can watch the clip. The part I like starts at about :50 and goes to 1:47)

I don’t know about you, but I want to really live the remaining time that I’ve been given, I don’t want time to just pass.

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:1

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.
Ecclesiastes 3:11

 

 

 

Once a Mama…

A couple of years ago I actually thought about starting a blog with this title and focus. It seems there are 21 zillion “Mommy Blogs” out there that are geared toward the young mom in the trenches, but there’s not much out there for the rest of us. We may not be changing diapers or dealing with the terrible twos; we’re not fighting homework battles or adolescent attitudes. We’re not anxiously watching them go out the door to kindergarten or high school or their first date or college and wondering if we’ve taught them enough, given them enough, loved them enough.

Scratch that last part. We still wonder that. We are still the Mamas, and you know what they say, “Once a Mama – always a Mama.”

It’s Mother’s Day weekend. I’m thinking about my own dear Mama who has been gone since 2004 and how she “mothered” us till the day she died.  She didn’t know any other way to be. I’ll confess, as an adult, I sometimes rolled my eyes or even resented her mothering. Though her mothering felt a little embarrassing at times, there were many more times that it was invaluable. I sought her advice on how to cook a turkey, and how to get a stain out of a white shirt. She taught me how to make the flakiest pie crust and the most delicious buttermilk pancakes. I asked her how she “knew” everything we were doing when we were teenagers, but only spoke up when she felt it absolutely necessary. I took mental notes on how she loved our Dad and how to be an excellent Grandmother. Some things I needed to know right away and some things I tucked away for future reference. For sure I wish now I’d asked more questions and watched more carefully. I think I miss her more with every passing year. I wish I’d asked her how to be a better Mama at this stage of the game.

You’ve probably read the children’s book, “I’ll Love You Forever.” (If you haven’t, you should!) Even though it’s unrealistic, (and a little creepy) with Mom driving across town with a ladder strapped to the top of her car to climb in her grown son’s window to rock him and sing to him, the sentiment is real. “As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be…”

My own four babies have grown and flown and have babies of their own, and though I don’t have the hands-on privilege of mothering now, I’m still their Mama – and it will always be so. As much as I know that being a young mom is a difficult job, there are things about mothering at my stage of life that are harder. When your kids are young, you have a modicum of control over their choices and behaviors.  When they are adults you have none. Not one tiny bit. You have no control, but you still feel responsible. You want to pat yourself on the back for the great job you did as a mom when they make wise choices and “succeed,”  and and you want to blame yourself when they don’t. You feel when they are doing well and you feel every heartbreak, slight and disappointment. No matter how old your kids are, you still feel like a mother. Like it or not, your job as Mama changes. You get to advise and warn, but they don’t have to take your advice or warning. You get to encourage and support, and you get to – in fact you’d better – pray. Always. It’s not just the only thing you can do at this stage, it’s the best thing you can do.

I’ve never liked the analogy of “cutting the apron strings.” A wise friend once said, “Never cut what you can untie.” I think that’s a much better way of looking at it. And don’t put away the apron, Mama – leave it on with that tie hanging within reach, just in case those grown up babies lose their way – or their minds – for a time and need something sure to hang on to. Because, once a Mama, always a Mama.

 

Listen to your father, who gave you life,
    and don’t despise your mother when she is old.

So give your father and mother joy!
    May she who gave you birth be happy.

Proverbs 23:23 & 25

The Baton

 

Last week, I attended our church’s annual conference for its ministers. It’s one of my favorite events of the year. I always come away inspired and challenged and thankful to be part of the Assemblies of God ministerial family. Conference really is like a family reunion – a family that I’ve chosen and so glad I did.

This year;s conference was especially meaningful. Two things aligned that have made me particularly thankful for the faithfulness of God in my life.

Annual Conference includes inspiring worship services and challenging messages, relevant workshops for church leaders, and a business meeting – elections, by-laws revisions, reports and such. But two of my favorite parts of Conference happen on the last day.

Each year on the last day of Conference there is a memorial service to honor the ministers and their spouses who have passed on during the previous year. There are pictures and brief histories and tributes to the men and women who have given their lives in service to Christ and his church. This year, two of the Pastors from my home church were honored in this service; Pastor Robert Beckman who was my pastor when I was a little girl, and Pastor Don Brown who led our church when I was a young wife and mom and who eventually hired me as worship pastor and encouraged me to work towards ministerial credentials.

Pastor Brown became the pastor of Bethel Church (the church I’ve been a member of my whole life) in the summer of 1976. David and I had been married just two years and were expecting our first child. Pastor Brown and his dear wife Glenda pastored Bethel Church for the next 14 years. Pastor Brown dedicated each of our four children and baptized the two oldest. He was a man of great vision, passion and energy. He became a mentor and friend and had a profound impact in the life of our family during some very formative years.

The other favorite part of Annual Conference for me is the Ordination service. Ordination is the public affirmation of the call of God on the life of a minister. Ministers must be licensed and actively involved in ministry for at least two years prior to ordination. It is a service that is both solemn and celebratory. This year our youngest son was ordained.

Proud parents (and grandparents!) at Nathanael’s ordination.

I don’t think it was a coincidence that the memory of Pastor Don Brown’s life and ministry was celebrated on the same day that Nathanael was ordained, or that Nathanael is now an associate pastor at the church – the church where he was nurtured in the faith as a child – that Pastor Brown led with such vision and passion.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. I can’t think of a better village to help raise children than a healthy, vibrant, community-minded, gospel-centered church. I’m thankful for my church; for faithful pastors, Sunday School teachers, children and youth pastors, camp counselors and a great big wonderful spiritual family who affirmed, corrected, led and loved my kids alongside their Dad and me. Don Brown was one of those important people who faithfully ran his race and has passed the baton on to the next generation. We should be mindful that one day we will do the same.

Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching.
2 Timothy 4:2

As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. the time of my death is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.
2 Timothy 4:6-7