Time

My original plan for this blog was to post twice a week. I even had a list of subjects and some rough drafts in the pipe so I could stay on top of it. Yeah, you can see how well that has worked out.

giphy

I haven’t written anything except in my private journal for weeks. There are lots of contributing factors – laziness and insecurity top the list. But there is another, better reason: time. Specifically, time spent with family and friends.

I think my last blog post was the week before Memorial Day. Since then we spent a couple of days at the Great Wolf Lodge

with the girls at Great Wolf

drove south 6 hours to celebrate my brother-in-law’s retirement,

eastern washington

came home and packed to go 7 hours the other direction to spend two weeks with friends in NE Washington while my husband painted their house and cabin.

David painting

Those two weeks I was mostly without internet access, so I wasn’t even on social media much. (Which by the way was a blessing.) Instead, I hung out with my friend and enjoyed a little farm life.

We came “home” (Home is wherever we park our trailer – for now that’s in Lewis County.) to appointments and more paint jobs for David. I spent the next two weeks playing with grandkids, taking a hike, helping out at a musical theater camp and enjoying the weather. Since my last blog there have been two wedding anniversaries, one birthday and baby girl learned to crawl. 🙂

Retirement has forced me to think about time in a different way. It’s easy to lose track of even what day of the week it is. Time can just slip by while I read or watch a movie. On the other hand, I can go to lunch or dinner with a friend and not be continuously watching the clock. Time doesn’t always equal “productivity” now. Instead, time is an investment in savoring relationships, in reveling in nature, in being “in the moment.” It’s one of the things I love most about this stage of life. So, forgive me if I don’t “produce” one or two blogs a week, or a month, I’m probably out spending time on what matters most to me.

While we were on our little Eastern Washington sabbatical, we watched the 1994 movie, I.Q. starring Meg Ryan and Walter Mathau. It’s one of our favorites. There is a scene where Edward (the romantic hero in the story) meets Katharine’s (the girl he’s in love with) uncle (who happens to be Albert Einstein) and his three brilliant friends. Einstein’s friends are having this existential argument about time, so they ask Edward, “So young man, do you think time exists?” Edward proceeds to tell about a story he read in Popular Science Magazine about twin brothers. One brother traveled in a space ship into space at the speed of light. The other brother stayed on earth. The astronaut brother returns years later and is still young while his brother is now an old man. Edward asks, “Which one do you think is happier?” The scientists all agree that the young brother must be happiest. Edwards says, “No. It’s the one who stayed on earth.” He goes on to explain, “The twin who stayed has had a full life and he’s had experiences and love and pain and he has a family and friends, and the one who left – well – time has just passed.” (If you want, you can watch the clip. The part I like starts at about :50 and goes to 1:47)

I don’t know about you, but I want to really live the remaining time that I’ve been given, I don’t want time to just pass.

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:1

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.
Ecclesiastes 3:11

 

 

 

The Incomparable Value of Friendship

People give me a bad time about the number of “friends” I have on Facebook. OK, we all know that in Facebook world, “friend” can have a different meaning than it does IRL. (In Real Life)  My IRL friends list is significantly smaller than my Facebook list – or maybe I should say it is different. One of the blessings of living in a small town for most of my life is that I do have a lot of IRL friends. Many of those Facebook “friends” are really more acquaintances, or associations than true friends. However, I have to say, some of my Facebook friends have become very dear to me, though we have never met in person. IRL friends come first, but I try not to discount the Facebook “friend” thing too much.

I love people and love to make new friends and deepen old friendships. Maybe you remember (if you’re old like me) the grade school song,

“Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.”

Friends old and new are priceless treasures and the time and space to spend quantity and quality time with friends is one of the best parts of growing older. I had to laugh at a recently retired couple when the wife remarked, “He’s always going to lunch, or golfing with his friends these days. I didn’t even know he HAD friends!” When you’re working 40+ hours a week, it’s hard to dedicate much time to friendships.

Kettle River Float
Floating the Kettle River with two of my dearest, long-time friends. Girlfriend get-a-ways are a priority for me!

True friends are often the ones who have been with you for the long haul. I’m blessed to have a circle of friends that have been a huge part of my life for 30+ years. We’ve laughed (a LOT), and cried (more than a few times) and we have a storehouse of memories of all our adventures together. We’ve had misunderstandings and offenses, we’ve disagreed and asked for and received forgiveness. I have counted on these friends to hold my confidences, tell me when I’m being a baby or a jerk and love me at my best and my worst. I am thankful.

When I think of true friendship, I can’t help but think of the men and women who were in the circle of friends my parents shared. Watching these friendships gave me not only an appreciation for the value of friendship, but a front row seat on how to do it well. Most of those dear friends are having a grand time in heaven right now, but I love getting to hug and talk to the few (fewer every day it seems) who remain. Each time I get to be with one of them, we share treasured memories of picnics and after church “fellowship.” We talk of baby showers and birthday parties and weddings and graduations. We hold the departed friends in sacred memory and are thankful for the years and memories that hold us together.

Loneliness and social isolation can be a major factor in the deterioration of physical and mental health as we age. Although I believe friendship in marriage is important – my hubby/friend and I are having a blast on our retirement adventures – the sad statistic is that one of us will probably go on to our reward before the other. It’s important to keep cultivating healthy friendships outside the marriage relationship, too. Friendship is always valuable and always important, but maybe even more so as we age.

In general, the role of friendship in our lives isn’t terribly well appreciated,” said Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina, Greensboro. “There is just scads of stuff on families and marriage, but very little on friendship. It baffles me. Friendship has a bigger impact on our psychological well-being than family relationships.”

So make new friends, treasure old friends, and work at cultivating true friendship, in real life. You’ll be happier and healthier. And who knows? You may even live longer!

The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life;
    a wise person wins friends. Proverbs 11:30

A friend is always loyal,
    and a brother is born to help in time of need. Proverbs 17:17

The heartfelt counsel of a friend
    is as sweet as perfume and incense. Proverbs 27:9